My Family’s Famous No-Bakes
This recipe is one my family has perfected over the years, one generation at a time, and is unlike any other no-bake cookie recipe you will ever encounter. Some people like those ashy, flaky, super-oatey no-bakes, and you know, that’s great, but there’s no room for a lack of chocolate in my kitchen, so be prepared to put a piece of pure glory in your mouth. We used to only make these at Christmas back home because we were not disciplined enough to deal well with them. (Still aren’t! We used to make double and triple batches, intending to give them away, but rarely did as they never seemed to make it in our house more than 24 hours.) I now have learned to make just one batch at a time, and only when I know Darin or a lot of people will be around to help me polish them off because without their help I would simply have to devour the whole batch by myself. And that would be awful… NOT.
Take note: This is a recipe best executed with a lot of careful planning and someone ready to lend a hand at cookie-dropping-time as they often harden up super-fast. Also, be mindful of the humidity outside if you want to make these; they won’t set up right if it’s too wet or too warm!
Ingredients:
*read the entire recipe, set and measure out everything before you begin to cook and have it all ready to go (all spoons for scooping and foil/waxed paper laid out for cookie-dropping, too). I cannot tell you how many times I messed this recipe up by not prepping everything beforehand. I even set the microwave timer to 2 minutes, ready to go at the touch of a button for the boiling time. It’s an adventure worth prepping for!
2 c. sugar
1/2 c. milk
1/2 c. unsalted butter, cut into tablespoon-squares
1/2 c. cocoa
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3/4 c. peanut butter (or as close to that as possible… peanut butter is a tricky thing to measure)
1 t. vanilla (again, or as close to that as possible… I just pour from the bottle until satisfied)
2 1/2 c. oats (quick works fine, but I like using regular oats; gives the cookies a nice chew)
Directions:
1. Get everything ready to go and out on the countertop (you’ll need about three or four 18″ pieces of foil or waxed paper, might as well spread that out now, too). Once the recipe commences, you can’t stop moving until its done (also a good idea to turn off your phone or other distractions and enlist the help of a housemate or spouse for stand-by hands).
2. In a good thick 3-5qt. pot, dump in the first four ingredients and turn heat on to medium (sometimes, in a pinch, you can do this over medium-high to high heat, but you really have to keep the goop moving). Stir with a wooden long-handled spoon. Do not stop stirring and moving the goop from this point on; if it burns at all, the whole batch will taste like Italian Roast coffee… which is gross…
3. Once the sauce starts getting hotter, watch for boiling bubbles. The moment it begins boiling, hit “Go” on whatever 2-minute timer you are using and keep stirring! If the boil looks like it’s about to get out of hand (and it might trick you as everything will expand while boiling), reduce heat appropriately.
4. At the end of the two minutes, remove from heat and immediately add the peanut butter. Stir it around until it looks pretty good and melted, but try not to wait for perfection. Add vanilla (carefully, sometimes it reacts with the other ingredients and kind of splashes back out of the mix), stir, then add oats all at once and stir until just coated.
5. Once all is chocolately and coated-y, start dropping by the spoonful onto the foil or waxed paper you have set out. No-bake cookies never look uniform or awesome, they’re just supposed to taste awesome and that’s it, so don’t worry about random shapes, drips, or messes.
6. Leave cookies alone to set up (also known as “dry out”, but that sounds terrible in context to these cookies because they don’t “dry out” so much since they are so chocolately). You will know they are done when you can peel a complete cookie off the foil/paper. If you’d like to speed up the process (though sometimes this costs the whole batch for various reasons), you can let the cookies set up outside in a cool garage or in the fridge, but sometimes that will pan out poorly, so be careful.
7. In the meantime, feel free to lick the spoons and pot you used to make these delicious drops of glory, or clean up your cooking mess so that you can eat cookies completely undistracted when they are ready to consume. If you don’t have anymore milk handy, take the time to go get some… there’s nothing like a glass of cold milk with these no-bakes.
8. When set, eat a bunch and enjoy them immensely. Yes, yes. I know. You’re welcome.
