in short: life is not so bad.  people are growing, things are changing, we’re all alive and healthy and God is still good.  and i finally put up the christmas tree yesterday.  don’t judge me.  i have my reasons.

in not-so-short:

x. ransom is “little potty” trained.  haven’t transitioned up to the “big potty” because our two step-stools don’t seem to be tall enough to get ran safely to the seat without falling off somewhere, which has apparently scarred him for life.  we’ll try again soon.  also haven’t ventured out of the house without a diaper yet because i kind of don’t trust him to reserve pee-time to when he’s on a potty, or to tell someone he needs to go potty in time, but we’ve been doing excellently at home and i know it will all eventually be just fine.

x. avery is toddling.  everywhere.  and climbing.  everything.  i often find her perched somewhere high up in our home. it is very frightening.  she also pitches herself off of things often, like chairs and tables.  also frightening.  i hope it’s just a phase.  she also cut a bunch of molars all at once and has been cry-faced for over week at a nearly non-stop pace.  i get it, teeth-popping is painful.  but so is living with someone who cries non-stop.  it’s been real fun around here…

x. hardison is a chunk.  first baby of mine to grow fatty cheeks. : )  love it.  he’e been an amazingly good baby in comparison to the others.  sleeps great, eats heartily, and is pretty laidback.  only cries when he’s not getting attention, like when i’m bathing the other kidoodles, or, you know, taking three minutes for myself to get a shower.  seems to have “mommy is trying to have a moment of peace” radar.  works like a charm…  but it’s cool.  eventually other people come to my house and i gladly hand them a small person and say “i’m getting a shower” and go about my merry business.

x. darin scored another raise this month.  pretty significant one, at that.  sadly, most of it will be sown into either family insurance or a 401K because that was the purpose of the raise.  but i guess that’s okay.  we should probably do “american things” with our money at some point, it’s just hard when both things seem so darn financially ridiculous to us and we pretty much live paycheck to paycheck on darin’s salary.  regardless, a raise is a raise, and we’re thankful for it.

x. i am itching to get back to the gym.  and that is pretty much all i’ve got going for me.

well, two of three babies were asleep when i started this post and now they are all awake, so i’ve kind of got to go…  here are a few pictures to tide you over until my next big break when i can post.  enjoy.  and merry christmas!

so, monday.  i was two weeks overdue.  i was exhausted physically and emotionally from no sleep and an immensely bizarre experience with impacted bowels the evening prior (yeah, that might be TMI, but i have never in my life had anything like that happen to me before and it literally felt like i had just given birth to ransom all over again–totally depleted, every muscle in my body sore and weak).  and i was sitting at the birthing center waiting for an appointment with my midwife who was planning to induce labor, which i was absolutely dreading at this point.  didn’t think i could hack it.  didn’t think i could do much of anything but cry, really.

apparently God thought otherwise.

after beginning my appointment with lisa in tears and pain over not feeling like doing the inducing thing or the delivering a tiny human out of my organs thing, we decided maybe to wait until the next day.  to be safe, lisa asked to check my cervix to see if i was dilated at all.  i had maybe two or three random contractions that morning, but they were very weak and i didn’t think much of them at all.

apparently i was dilated to a very “stretchy” 6, which she now admits was more a 7 (of 10).  lisa was in shock, said i should have been in transition at this point and didn’t want me to leave, but thought it strange that i wasn’t having any more contractions.  all i could think was i wanted some lunch and to go home.  so, since i wasn’t in any sort of active labor, i left and we just safely assumed i’d be back after while.

i stopped at bojangles on the way home and ordered the biggest thing they have on the menu with a God-send of a coupon (the cashier-guy couldn’t even believe they had printed a coupon like that, but was totally stoked to honor it.  i love that.), intending to feed my whole family with that food, including my mom and whoever else would be involved in handling my kids while i birthed the new baby.  the box it came in barely fit through my window.  it was hilarious.  i mean, just look at it:

that sticky-out knob toward the back corner is a half gallon of tea...

while i waited to receive that mess, i had a couple of random contractions, but nothing i couldn’t talk through, and it occurred to me that perhaps i should begin timing them.  on the drive home, turns out they were about 7-8 minutes apart.  i let darin know he should be heading home and that i was bringing food, and so we planned to eat and likely head back to the birthing center.

well, contractions slowed down at home for a while and i just kind of went with it.  i started rounds of black and blue cohosh to help things along, but nothing really picked up.  to be safe, we planned to leave again before 4 pm to get on the other side of traffic on I-77 (which is a beast at rush hour), and so we did.  we left the house around 3:45, with me still having kind of lame-o contractions at about 5 minutes apart and not really feeling like anything was a big deal.

lisa called while we were heading out her way and said we could go walk around her neighborhood if we wanted, to help pass the time until i felt more like going to the center.  she lives minutes away from there, so it was not so big a deal.  we walked her neighborhoo a good time around and i had maybe three boring contractions that i could totally walk and talk through and then we just stopped and went to lisa’s house (invited, mind you… lisa’s pretty great).

we pretty much just hung out at lisa’s for a few hours, watched the end of some jack nicholson movie and the beginning of back to the future part 2 while i took more cohosh and timed out contractions.  still five minutes apart atjust before 6pm, lisa asked if she could check me again and when she did i was at a stretchy 8 or 9.  she thought it was funny.  i thought it was kind annoying (not her, but the fact that my body was taking its sweet time to do something it had seemingly already done, and still i wasn’t in transition or even in very much pain).  we made a plan to all go get some dinner around 6:15pm and meet up at the birthing center at 6:45.  if things still were stalled and i felt up for it, she was willing to break my water and just get it over with.

ransom and avery were both born in the water sac (“in the caul”, as it’s called), and so part of me was a little sad to think of breaking my water, but the rest of me was just getting bored and wondering how much longer this mess was going to take before something substantial happened.

anyhoo, as we were settling our plans with lisa, i had a good strong contraction that i could barely talk through and thought “finally! something i can work with!” and they kept on from there.  we left lisa’s, headed for a convenience store with a subway to grab some food, and as soon as i got out of the van and into the store, i had to stop and wait out a contraction.  couldn’t walk through it–yay!  i just kind of stood there, staring at a rack of cookies, while darin milled around the store.  i made my way over to the subway after that and had another contraction or two in line and they continued that way, about every three minutes, until we got back in the car and made our way to the birth center.

lisa had called an assistant to come help with the birth, a sweet lady named jordan who was simply amazing, and she met us there and got the room all prepped while i labored fairly quietly by the bed.  contractions got stronger, but not longer, and didn’t get too much closer together, and when lisa arrived, we decided to go on with the water-breaking.

after the gush of broken-water-sac-goo, i endured two more very strong contractions because for some odd reason i just didn’t feel like pushing (i was fearful… still not sure why…  i think it was just new territory for me without the water sac intact and i didn’t know what to do), and then i pushed.  like three good times.  and suddenly there was a tiny goopy human outside of my organs and resting on my chest.  it was great.  and over just as soon as it began.  7:22pm.

an hour and twenty minutes of active labor.  beats avery by ten minutes.  totally okay with that.

eventually we realized baby D3 was a boy and there was much joy and laughter and happy tears, and it was a beautiful set of moments that i am really glad i got to be a part of, totally cognizant and totally delighted.  i thanked God for turning my baby so i didn’t have to endure a lengthy or exceedingly painful posterior birth and i thanked him again for a very strange but interesting birth experience altogether with not a whole lot of pain or exhaustion.  and i marvelled at the beauty of my newborn baby, my third child, my second son, my precious pea.

and i found his hair fascinating–this is the first kid i’ve had that came out with any substantial amount of hair–and it’s dark!  crazy.  i hope it stays!  i paid dearly for that hair with some gnarly heartburn…

and so, we waited a while after the delivery to make sure everything was alright with baby and me, and darin and i realized in the midst of our waiting that the names we had thought we were going to go with didn’t seem to fit this little one, so we decided to sleep on it and let God tell darin what to call our son in the morning.  when we got the okay to leave, around 10pm, we did.  and we got to sleep in our own bed and it was wonderful.

the next morning, darin woke up with a name for our son and we loved it.  we had put ”hardison” on our original list, actually, but the “daniel” part was all new.  we get to have a little prophet.  awesome. : )  “hardison” is typically a surname and after much digging in that vein, i discovered the name originated back when people got named for things they did or their fathers did and was given to a man whose father was brave and courageous in battle (“hardy” by typical standards), and later, by Scottish descent, denoted a man whose father was a craftsman.  both of those things were favorable of father and son and we loved it.  i’m glad darin chose it.

“daniel” is hebrew for “God is my judge” and we figured that was rather on-point, and would probably serve to help him if he really does wind up being the “hardy” son, as it is better to be bold and courageous in the fear of God’s judgment than that of men.

here are a few pictures from this morning of our handsome baby boy:

and that’s about it for now.  baby’s awake and needing mom-time, so i better go.  blessings on you all and thanks for dropping by to read!

Hardison Daniel Damme

Born Monday 11/14/2011 at 7:22 p.m.

8 lbs. 1 oz., 21 in.

 two. weeks. overdue.

seems to be the goal around here (avery was also two weeks late)…  but that’s cool, so long as they come out okay.  and really cute.  : )

so, i’m not getting into the birth story just yet because i just got a wakey baby that needs tending to, but we’re all good, minus some gnarly postpartum cramps for me, and we’re enjoying our newest little dude immensely.

thanks for the prayers, encouragements, and happy thoughts!

that being said, sometimes i have trouble being kind to the well-intentioned.  especially when pregnant.

so, in order to collectively help cast perspective, and ultimately learn to love one another in a positive way, here are a few suggestions for the well-intentioned when approaching a pregnant woman:

1. consider your subject: a hormonally-charged and unbalanced 21st century woman, surrounded by FITpregnancy magazines and immense amounts of pressure to “handle it all” with poise and grace, all while a tiny human being slowly compresses all her internal organs into a very small space and surreptitiously ganks all her energy, sleep, comfort, and nutritional stores (including brain cells).
2. if you intend to open your mouth and speak to her, stop, breathe, and think first.  you should probably not ever say the first, second, or third thing that comes to mind unless it sounds like “hello, how are you today?” 
3. please do not address, caress, or otherwise assess her belly.  it is unkind to disregard the carrier of the preborn human’s comfort and boundaries.  plus, it’s really awkward.  imagine someone approaching you who immediately says hello to your midsection or chest, or gropes your double chin, or publicly comments on the girth of your cankles.  not a pretty picture…
4. should go without saying, but apparently doesn’t: do not mention her weight or size unless to comment about how awesome she looks considering she is internally growing a human life.  and for the love of God and all holy things, do not crack jokes or say things like “are you sure you’re not carrying twins?” even if you know her well.  she will cry.  maybe not in front of you.  but she will cry.  it’s just not nice.
5. if it is approaching or beyond her due date and you are aware of this fact, do not do not DO NOT comment or inquire about when the baby is coming.  if she (or any of us) knew the answer to that, she would love to tell you.  but generally that’s an unknown, unless you’re asking someone who has scheduled a c-section, and then it’s kind of not hard for her to just say “thursday at approximately 2 pm”.
6. to be clearer about #5, i’m not talking about situations where you’ve just met the pregnant woman and are genuinely wondering when she’s due, nor am i referring to truly needing a reminder about how far along she is.  i am speaking of those little casual comments like “wow!  when’s that baby gonna get here?!” and “is that baby here yet?”  basically all she’s going to hear is “wow!  you are gargantuan!  surely giving birth will reduce your size!” and “good grief, you’ve been pregnant forever!  i would really like to encounter you with the distraction of a newborn so i can feel less awkward in your presence!”
7. please do not remind her incessantly to tell you when the baby comes.  she will tell you.  or her ecstatic husband will.  or a friend or family member entrusted with the call-arounds will.  babies are exciting.  not a lot of people will keep them a secret, especially around the time of their birth.
8. and if you are, perchance, left out of the proverbial phone tree, for whatever reason, pleasepleaseplease don’t take it personally.  it probably has less to do with you and more to do with the fact that birthing a human is laborious (hence it being called labor) and afterward, some folks just aren’t in the right frame of mind to remember every single thing they are supposed to do and every single person they are supposed to inform.  having to handle your offense at being left out makes everyone feel poopy.  if you find out later than expected about the baby, thank God for the miracle of birth, say a little “grace, grace” over the parents, and do whatever kind thing you do when people you know have babies anyway–make a meal, send a card, tie up a ribbon, whatever.  choose to bless.  and tell satan to take his bitterness and go home.  it’s not worth it.
9. last but not least, be mindful of the emotional instability of the pregnant woman, above all other things.  it’s not her fault.  and she usually can’t control it, even with supplements.  so if your well-meaning comments/actions get interpreted/received by her negatively (which is likely), cut her some slack.  and if she doesn’t have the grace to respond to you in kindness, or if she breaks down crying in front of you or has to excuse herself so as to go cry somewhere else, cut her some more slack.  and in humility, reapproach her, have a heart-to-heart apology moment, and move on.

so there you have it.

if you are reading this and are reminded of a time you did one of these things to a pregnant woman, or even to me personally, be comforted to know that most pregnant women (me included) get over it and still love and appreciate you and your well-intentioned moment.  it would be a far greater response to step back from any offense at being confronted with these things and say “oh, okay.  i can see how that would be painful/irritating/misconceived/inappropriate/etc.” and learn something.  i’ve had to do this.  often.  it is humbling.  and not always easy.  but always worth it.

and i still mess up.  i absolutely do not corner the market on excellent speech.  i do, however, now try reallyreallyreally hard to be mindful of the other person to whom i am speaking before i open my mouth or allow the pressure of conventional conversation to motivate me to say something rather than nothing.  sometimes the nothing is far more wise.*

anyhoo, i’m done typing today.  i’m going to go sit on my birthing ball and pray a bit, hoping that maybe this baby decides to come out today.  i mean, it’d be cool if it was born on the 11th (11.11.11), but it’s only coolwhen you’re not the one who has to carry it around internally until that day.  i’m kind of done.  ready to evict.  yes.

well, blessings to you for dropping by and i hope you have a great november 8!  peace to you, friends.

*”even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent” proverb 17:28–darin used to tell me that all the time because we both have some trouble minding our mouths when we feel we have something to say.  and i used to be offended when he’d say it.  now i think he was very prudent, indeed, to open his mouth and suggest it.  i also find proverb 10:19 to be an effective reminder: “when there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” (both scriptures from the NASB)  i love the word of God.  it’s so practical…

in other news, here’s some updatery for you, in short form because we’re naked potty training ransom and i am often called to dump the potty after many mini pees.

x. naked potty training is brilliant.  kind of awkward, but brilliant.  he wears a shirt, at least, because it’s cold in our house and we’re not that mean, but it is still disconcerting sometimes to see a small half-naked person running around my house.  but we’ve only had one single accident (gnarly poop… he’d been keeping it in all day long, my stubbon little guy…), and from it he learned and we’ve had no trouble ever since.  everything else has gone right into the potty.  awesome.

x. if potty training chatter bugs you, sorry.  it’s kind of a big deal when you’re a parent.  just skip down a few bulletpoints and you’ll be fine.

x. apparently transitioning to underwear is the hard part.  hasn’t treated us well so far.  mostly the kid doesn’t get the concept of underwear in general–how to wear it, how to pull it up and down, why it is necessary to pull it up and down, why we don’t use underwear like a diaper, etc.  we’ll just enjoy the at-home naked potty time for now.  doesn’t bother me any that he’s still in dipes when we go out.  better than dipes all the time.  and a lot cheaper.  yes.

x. avery sits on the potty, too.  but with clothes on.  when i have a whole lot more patience, we’ll work with her as well.  i don’t think she will take nearly as long to catch on…

x. avery can now walk.  by herself.  and does.  just not often.  she prefers to crawl or walk while barely holding someone’s finger.  she’s always been funny about new things.  i’m just glad she can do it.  especially since she’s almost 15 months old.  yep.

x. avery also eats real food.  that has been interesting.  it’s the first bite that’s the beast.  if we can get a bite of real food into her mouth, it’s smooth sailing from there…  just a pain in the butt to get that first bite in to a moving target with pursed lips.  funny girl…

x. so, i think other than doing the advent wreath this year, i might stink at doing christmas stuff again.  i am hoping this is not true as in my mind i want to have a house all decked out in fresh evergreen branches and wreathes and cinnamon-smelly pinecones and beautiful rich colors, just like home was when i was growing up.  i want to have my tree up before three days to christmas this year.  i want to actually send the cousins and brothers and grandparents their christmas packages (we had them packed and ready to go last year, just didn’t ever make it to the post office with them and the cookies enclosed wouldn’t have been worth sending anymore.  total fail.).  we’ll see how it goes, but man i sure hope i at least do something productive in the name of Jesus this year (absolutely no pun intended… i meant that full-well).

x. i have a mild peppermint obsession.  okay, so it’s more than mild.  but it’s only out of control when i have access.  and silly me, i bought a bag of sweet stripes puffy peppermints at target the other day.  i’ve probably eaten half the bag all by myself already.  i could eat them all day long.  so refreshing…  mmm…

x. darin is working mid-shifts until after the baby gets here in order to always be able to leave if i go into labor.  mid-shifts are really not my cup of tea.  i feel like we never see each other because he leaves an hour after we get up in the morning and comes home after dark.  this baby needs to get here so i can give my husband more than a high five on his way out the door in the a.m and a super-late dinner before bed.

x. in other news, God is good.  all the time.  it’s true.  amen.

x. made a chocolate cheesecake filled with trader joe’s version of oreos two day ago.  we’ve all but obliterated it by this morning.  sweets are a problem in his house.  i’ll admit it.  but at least i’m really good at making them.  yes.  and though it sounds like i make a lot, i really don’t.  maybe like one or two things a week.  and in small batches, generally, or i will at least have darin eat the bulk of them so i don’t get myself into trouble.  right-o.  still a problem…  yeah…  we’ll work on it later.

x. they played christmas music on our christian radio station on halloween this year and for one solid day of driving, i was a very happy girl.  i love christmas music.  yes, yes i do.  and i’m really looking forward to hearing it more often soon.

x. i miss kansas city.  we’ve had the prayer room on a lot at bedtime to help the kids fall asleep and to watch weekend services and i just really miss that place.  and the people.  and the lifestyle.  and i know this is where God has us for now, but i sure do long for the day of Jesus’ return so i can be back in his courts for all eternity, worshipping, praising, and blessing his name.  it’s going to be awesome.  and going to last forever.  even better.

x. so, we took a slew of pictures a few days ago to send to family and so i have some good (and goofy) ones to share here as well.  here they are in closing, as i need to go deal with a poop-filled potty, apparently.  awesome.  enjoy (the pictures. not the potty…):

yum.

Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls

makes 24 rolls

2 1/4 t yeast (a standard packet worth, if that makes it easier)
1/4 c warm water
1 t + 2 T granulated sugar
1 can pureed pumpkin
2 eggs, room temp
1/4 c butter, melted
2 t pumpkin pie spice
3/4 t sea salt
5 cups white wheat flour (+ more for kneading)

Filling:
1/2 c butter, softened
1 1/4 c Sucanat (or brown sugar)
2 t pumpkin pie spice
1 1/4 t cinnamon

Icing:
2 c powdered sugar
3 T milk (or more if you like your icing a little runnier)

Directions:

1. Proof yeast in a large bowl by adding yeast over warm water, adding 1 teaspoon of sugar, and stirring around a bit until all is moist.   Let sit about 5 minutes until you get some foamy stuff.
2. Whisk in remaining sugar, pumpkin, eggs, butter, spice, and salt.  Add flour gradually, starting with 3 cups and blending with spatula, then add next 2.  You will probably have to dig in with your hands at this point.  Get used to it.  Knead dough for 10 minutes, adding extra flour as you go to overcome the stickinees.  You may likely add between 1/2 cup and 1 cup extra flour.
3. When dough is smooth (after a good 10 minutes kneading… I know… it’s tedious.  You’ll still be glad you did it), go wash your hands up and grease another large bowl with butter or coconut oil.  Plop that dough ball down into the bottom of your greased bowl and cover it with plastic wrap.  Let that mess sit until it doubles.  Mine took four hours.  My house is cold.  Hopefully you’ll have more luck and only need and hour and a half.  If you punch it down before it doubles, though, you’ll have some lame rolls.  Patience, grasshopper.
4. Make your filling while you wait.  Just mash all that stuff up under “Filling” in a separate bowl and call it good.  Might as wll go on and butter up your baking pans, too–you’ll need two 9×13″ baking pans/pyrexes.
5. Once that dough doubles, punch it!  Then split it in half, and set one half on either a floured surface or some parchment.  I recommend the parchment.  Thank me later.
6. Make a flat sheet of dough about 16×10″, long side facing you.  Sprinkle half the filling over the dough, then roll it up on itself evenly as possible and seal it.  Dump it off the parchment and grab a serrated knife.  Saw the dough log in half, halves, and then thirds; you will wind up with 12 rolls.  Arrange them in a 9×13″ pan/pyrex (they don’t need to touch at this point, but be reasonable… they can still be friends), cover with plastic wrap or a towel, and do that whole step again with the second dough ball.
7. Get ready for more waiting.  Those rolls need to double some and at least grow until they are touching.  Usually takes 30-50 minutes.  Mine took an hour and a half.  Cold kitchen.  It happens.  Once they have risen, you may either bake them now (yes!) or put them in the fridge for later.  I can’t imagine delaying enjoyment any longer, but hey, whatever floats your boat.  You can also freeze them at this point but to me that is absurd.  If you do choose to freeze them, thaw them out for a loooong time before you bake them.
8. When they’re pretty much ready for baking, preheat your oven to 350F.  Uncover your pans and bake them for 20-30 minutes–wide range covers wide range of variables.  Just keep an eye on them.  When they start to brown a bit, they should be good to go.  Pull ‘em out and let ‘em cool a bit while you mix up some icing–it’s not that hard, just add the milk to the sugar and stir.  Add more milk if you want it thinner.
9. Cover your rolls in sugary goodness and eat, eat, eat.  Save some for your family.  They will thank you.  Sometimes with gifts.  Enjoy.

anyhoo.  39 weeks prego is kind of weird.  i spend most of my days waddling around the house, drowning my organs in water and protein, nesting, and taking about fifteen different supplements to help make things easier when this baby actually decides to exit my body and begin life post-womb.  sometimes i get out of the house.  usually i regret it.  but oh well.

i also spend large portions of my day thinking about what life is going to look like with another small person in the house.  unless a miracle of God visits us and potty-trains my son in record time, i’m going to have three in diapers, one of which will be having frequent poo-splosions and requiring nighttime changes.  there will also be much tending to fussiness, refereeing brother and sister, learning how to juggle three kids at bedtime and waking, pumping every flipping two hours so i can actually produce something of worth for my newborn to consume (that will always be a time-sucker thanks to my hypoplastic condition, unfortunately), and trying to maintain some semblemce of decency with my hard-working and amazing husband whom i love increasingly so.

it’s going to be nuts.  i should put in a bid for reality TV show.  i bet we could entertain america without even extending any effort. 

in any event, here’s the haps in short because i need to go feed my tiny humans dinner before bed:

x. darin is on a modified work schedule so he can leave pretty much anytime i go into labor.

x. i am incredibly ready to stop sharing my internal organs.

x. ransom is very tall, very wordy, and very active.  he also thinks all humans are his friends and has suddenly taken to smashing bugs with his fingers.  thankfully we have plenty of fruit flies ad ants on hand to keep him busy.

x. avery is walking (while holding someone’s finger, of course), talking (mostly in a forgeign language), eating some foods that do not originate in jars (which is huge), and reading a lot (at least sitting with books and acting like she’s reading).

x. new baby is posterior in the womb.  not terribly excited about that.  pray he or she flips by go-time.  i’m not really in the mood for extended and far-more-painful labor.

x. house-buying is on hold until after the first of the year.  might have already mentioned that.  but it’s true.  just not good timing with baby and holidays and money.  although, we did get approved for 100% financing, so things are looking up, financially-speaking.

x. in preparation for new baby, darin and i made a big bedroom switch-up, moving everyone into their own room and finally giving us a few weeks peace to have a room to ourselves.  avery was sleeping in our room in her bed up to this point because the girl cannot seem to sleep the night at all (seems to be a never-ending problem with her), and that hasn’t really changed, but maybe we’ll get lucky at some point.  in any event, at least she (hopefully) won’t be waking up everytime i have to change or feed the new baby.  i think i’ll have my hands full enough without having to coax her back to sleep, too.  we’ll se how it goes.

x. we have been getting random financial gifts from out of nowhere lately.  and i just want to say: God is really good to us.  and tremendously timely.

x. a plant my mom gave me actually grew a new leaf.  so, not only is it still alive, but it is prospering.  awesome.  i really hope it lives.  can’t say as much for my desk plant, which i also have back in my possession.  it has already dropped a leaf and looks rather sad.  it’s like a charlie brown christmas tree.  i just want to hug it and tell it greener pastures await someday (probably where it will go to become compost… but shh! don’t tell it that!).

x. speaking of christmas, i made my advent wreath this past week at MOPS and am totally stoked to use it this year!  no more sad-cry christmases for me and my family!  we will center our hearts, however busy and distracted, on Christ the Lord and the holy season which honors his birth.  happy. : )

anyhoo, that is all for now.  here are pictures in closing of my really cute kids.  enjoy:

in other news, i have really cute kids.  exhibit A:

exhibit B:

yeah. i know.  they’re pretty great.  : )

so in other news, buying a house is a mess.

we’re only interested in doing it now, as opposed to once we have the entire purchase price saved up as we had originally planned, because we’re growing beyond weary of chucking money at rent and property management companies that don’t do anything but profit and then refuse to make repairs on the rentals in which we live.  not bitter about it, just ready to be done with life as a renter.  i have an extremely handy husband who is going crazy in this house because he’s not allowed to fix anything and the management company won’t do anything either.  it gets old.  we’d rather be paying the same amount (or less, actually) for our own place and be able to do whatever we wanted to when things came up needing attention.

plus, we’re a growing family, and that gets difficult to house inexpensively through rentals after about two kids due to housing restrictions.

in any event, every house i walk into and find suitable for our family gets snatched up either that day or the next one (no lie), so i think i’m going to stop looking at them until we’re totally ready to go financially and lease-breaking-ly (we have four months left on this lease… we could wait, but we’re not going to).  yes.  less mess that way.  less dashed hopes.

in the meantime, i am daily living with the pain of discontentment.  i need Jesus.  this rental house was a massive mistake, now that we’ve lived here long enough to see all the things very wrong with it.  we are beyond ready to get ourselves and our children out of here.  but at the same time, my bible study group is going through philippians right now and i am crazy convicted with how i am in no way content here, despite the fact that i am exhorted to be by paul, a man who endured far worse things and seemed to easily rejoice in them.  my attitude has got to change.  we’re not on the streets, we’re fairly warm (no insulation here either… so warm is kind of relative), we’re sheltered from the worst elements and situtations, and we’re all okay.  i should be thrilled as a mom (and human in general) to be able to claim those things.

i need to get there.  i just seems so far away.  God help me.

in other news, the ladies at my church are throwing me a baby shower on sunday!  i’m so excited!  i haven’t had a baby shower since before ransom was born in kansas city; it will be lovely to be in the midst of my friends celebrating another addition to my family.  good stuff.

in still other news, i killed a cactus.  yeah.  i’m awesome.  i didn’t even try.  i heard that was the best way NOT to kill a cactus–you know, kind of ignore it and water it like once every two or three weeks.  i did that.  and it started leaning to the left, got spider mites, turned a foul shade of beige, became very mushy, and died.  all in the span of about three days.  same thing my desk plant did before i gave it to my mom to try to save.  spider mites.  that’s a new one for me.

the damme house: where plants come to die.  yeah.  has a nice ring to it.  anyhoo…

good news to share: darin got another raise!  happy news!  i love my hardworking husband!  his diligence and dedication to excellence at work continues to pay off for him.  i am so proud of my man!

other good news to share: avery’s eczema is pretty much non-existent now, though she still gets itchy behind her knees sometimes.  there’s no patchy skin there anymore, so i am wondering if it’s just a force of habit.

so halloween candy is EVERYWHERE.  so glad it all has crap in it (check those ingredients… yeah.. not so pretty.), minus maybe m&m’s and hershey bars, but man do i still walk verrrrry slowly by the candy sections in stores, smelling the glory of sugary treats.  i miss twix bars the most.  and three musketeers.  and reese’s cups.  oh, candy.  i hope the better forms of you show up in the millenial kingdom.  yes.

and so i need to wrap this up.  sorry for the abrupt ending, but i’ve got two youngsters vying for my attention and it’s just time to go.  here are some prayer requests in closing:

• my body isn’t taking the last month of pregnancy very kindly due to my fall.  i am in a lot of pain (“manageable” by my standards, but every few days it is rather debilitating), especially when trying to sleep and when running errands.  pray that everything heals properly before i have to deliver this baby so we don’t wind up with complications (please! that would be a nightmare…)
• that finances would line up favorably for buying a house, including getting out of our current lease.  the management company has a proven record of being a bit shady legally-speaking (we didn’t know this until after we moved in, unfortunately)
• for more revelation of Jesus in our hearts and home.  there is a tangible desperation in the air here these days…  we need God.

thanks for dropping by, and have a blessed day!

and, just so it’s out there, they don’t allow you to take pictures on the property really, except for like one or two spots, and the weather was nasty all day, so i have a handful of pictures worth sharing and a bunch i had to delete because they were just awful.  i’m still kind of sad about it because i was hoping to score a great set of pics to share, but so it goes.

anyhoo, without further ado, here goes nothin’:

labor day, 2011, my mom and sister arrive butt-crack early in the morning to collect and whisk away our children for the day and we realize it is raining and gross outside.  yeah.  it happens.  so darin gets car seats transferred and everything squared away with mom and brianne regarding kidoodles while i finish packing diapers, wipes, spare clothes, foods, bottles, sippies, and God only knows what else because they left with enough luggage to survive probably a week (minus fresh food) and it just kept growing. 

at some point in there, darin tired of my harried packing and decided to rain-x the windows on the van.  yep.  and he did a great job.  it just took him like an hour.  that stuff is a mess…  but he looked good doing it, right?  look at those manly arms!

i also took this picture of my morning glories because, well, i rarely get to see them open and they’re kind of pretty.

yes.  something flowering and not totally dead that i am mildly responsible for!  happy day.

eventually, we got on the road.  and had to go back after about two miles because i was also selling my hand crank grain mill that morning to someone in gastonia (on the way) and i had forgotten her phone number.  lame.  whatev.  it gave us a chance to get a new windshield wiper at the o’reilly’s down the street, too, so it wasn’t all for naught.

somewhere after gastonia, we found a jack-in-the-box so i could introduce darin to the wondrous beauty of a delicious and ridiculously filling yet inexpensive breakfast, and the lady at the register told me i was massive…ly pregnant, called her co-worker up to the counter from the back to share in the “you’re huge!” commenting party, and finally proclaimed that i must be having a boy and boy, indeed, was i carrying low (“thanks…  so, um, can i get my food now?”).  it was great.  some dudes sitting out in the tables stopped me on our way to sit down and said “hey, you’re not that huge.  and you’re not carrying that low.  those ladies just need to shut up.”  i said, “aw, thanks, guys.” and tried my best to gracefully move on.

after that fun little meal (it wasn’t that bad once we got to eating and goofing off as usual), we hit the road again and drove straight on through to asheville.  did you know that the driveway for the biltmore estate is like ten miles long?  k, so not ten, but definitely more than two.  and it is gorgeous.  i cannot imagine living on land so richly fertile and alive like that… everything plant-like that i touch dies.  but this place was green.  everywhere green.  and lush.  and beautiful.  and stunning.  and alive.

needless to say, i kept my hands inside the vehicle at all times until we parked and caught the bus up to the actual estate.  could have walked, but it was raining and the walk is entirely uphill, estimated at eight minutes for a healthy young adult.  the shuttle driver was kind of a wild one, and after about three hair-pin turns on two wheels, even i was getting a little green at the gills.  thankfully, we arrived moments later at the front door to the estate with all our parts intact.

trying to describe the interior of the biltmore house is like trying to give fitting words to a sunset.  kind of not worth the try.  but go look at the biltmore website sometime, or google other peoples’ illegally-captured pictures and marvel, because that place is extravagant beyond comment, and i’m not even someone that marvels much at “things” like that, especially when they exist simply to prove one’s wealth.  but it is all tastefully done, somehow, and the house has a charm and magnificence that clearly speaks of being richly blessed and enjoying it because it is fitting to do so.

darin and i caught a few photos out on the balcony overlooking the back of the biltmore property (which is something like 8000+ acres, by the way), and despite the bad weather , bad lighting, and our unfortunate rain-drenched-edness, they’re not too terrible that i won’t share, so here goes those:

we also took about thirty pictures trying to get anything useful out on the porch at the detached “bathroom oasis” in the front garden.  for a bathroom building, they sure did make it picturesque.  it even smelled nice.  and it was horrendously humid out.  surprised was i.  here are two pictures of us that i don’t so much mind sharing.  everybody knows what trees and shrubs look like, so we didn’t really take pictures of that stuff…  just us.

the mist was really kind of overwhelming in general that day, so it turned up in every picture we took, no matter what we tried to do about it.  oh well.  making memories, i reckon.

after a bunch of time walking around the shops and checking out the highly overpriced food options, we decided we’d pretty much experienced all that was worth it on-property (except for the gardens, which thankfully they have now looped a drive around so you don’t have to walk them in inclimate weather, so we didn’t have to totally miss out) and ventured out into asheville city limits to score a late lunch.

and after i–who was driving because i had been a “local” in college long enough to manuever the asheville streets fairly well, or so i thought–tried for thirty minutes to find a parking space suitable for our van that didn’t require a parallel parking job (i don’t like parking that van.  it is not like parking a car.  and i suck at it.  yes.), darin took over the wheel and settled us at a metered spot a few blocks away from the mellow mushroom.  pizza sounded great.  gosh, my hand for lunch sounded great by that point.  alas, hands are not nourishing fare…  mellow mushroom, much better.

we had pizza.  shocker.  it was covered in local meats and cheeses and more parmesan than should be allowable for consumption at one time (but oh so good…) and it was worth every penny.  we then walked asheville for an hour trying to find some little bakeries i remembered (a “world cafe” or something like that which used to have the most amazing desserts, and a fancy little place hart took me to once on a visit after college that had a bar/dance club in the back that was kind of awkward but featured desserts that made you want to lick them off the plates).  we found the world cafe.  it was kind of lame now, though, and darin said the coffee was so bitter he couldn’t drnk it until we found something to balance it out.  we never found the other place, probably not a bad thing, and eventually had to get back to the van before the meter ran out and we got a ticket.

we settled on dessert from the original earthfare off 440, which still makes the only pumpkin chocolate chip muffins i’ve ever truly enjoyed.  our earthfares in charlotte use a different recipe and are nowhere near as generous with spices, chocolate, pumpkin, or muffin size.  we also grabbed a slice of chocolate lover’s cake (should have gotten our regular chocolate carrot cake w/ chocolate buttercream, in hindsight…  buttercream is always better) and went out to the van to happily consume.

then we began the drive home.  and God apparently began to reconsider flooding the earth.  i was driving, as is our custom because every time darin drives the van he just gets mad and stressed and it’s not worth it, and anyway, it took us an unprecedented four hours to get home.  it’s a two and a half hour drive without shortcuts, two and some change with shortcuts included.  made it many a time.  but the torrential downpour was beyond driveable and just downrght scary at points (think steep winding mountain roads.  add rain and other cars with far-less careful drivers.  add really big trucks with no regard for anyone else on the road.  add fearing for your life to the nth degree.  yes.  scary.) and although i never stopped, we had to go 35 on the interstate nearly the whole way home, hazards a-blinking and all.  not exciting.

at least the kids were safe and sound, and apparently sleeping.  we got to my mom’s way late to retrieve our kids and evenually got back in the van to head for home.  after we got kids settled into bed, we spent a few minutes getting settled ourselves and finally laid down to sleep.  it was probably 1:30 am.

at about 2:30 am, avery decided she didn’t want to sleep anymore and also didn’t really want to be alone in her newfound awakedness.  so long story very short with many unkind things said and many very human and broken responses to a tiny person who absolutely was not going to go back sleep, darin went out to sleep on the couch so he wouldn’t be totally useless at work the next day and i stayed awake (though not by choice) with aves.  she fell asleep somewhere around 6am.  i think.  everything was kind of a blur…  i was rather useless for a few days until i got time to catch up on that sleep, but oh well.  welcome to parenthood.

in any event, we had a great day out, despite the weather and craziness that so often accompanies everything we do.  we ate some great food, saw some astoundingly beautiful things, enjoyed a rich history lesson, made plenty of memories, and had some time to ourselves kid-free to refresh, relax, and recharge.

my sister is awesome for coming up with the whole deal and for paying for it, and my mom is also awesome for assisting in the practicals and for tucking some extra spending money into my hand before we departed that morning.  we could/would have never taken this trip otherwise and were truly blessed to be on the receiving end of such a kind gift!  i really did enjoy soaking up the beauty at the biltmore estate.  and i will always enjoy a venture into the hippie-land of asheville, where dreads and patchouli are the standard and everything is just a little weird.

thanks brianne and mom for a fun day out!

and now, to remind myself that avery is still adorable and sometimes does actually comply with sleep-times, here is a picture in closing of her camped out in the womb-chair.  she wrapped herself up like that, by the way.  she looks so cozy…  thank God for sweet sleepy times.

have a blessed day!

i got to speak about the benefits of breadmaking today at MOPS, and it seemed to go fairly well minus my getting dry mouth a few times and my occassional forgetting to breathe causing me to awkwardly stumble through sentences.  i forgot how much energy it takes for me, a raging introvert, to speak in front of groups of people.  i tell you, folks, i practiced every day multiple times for a solid week.  could have done it without notes.  still got up there and could hardly breathe.  whatev.  i am what i am.  talk to me in person, and ask direct questions, i promise i’ll do better…

anyhoo, breadmaking presentation.  did it.  hope it made sense and i hope some people got inspired.  i love it when folks learn simple skills that bring immediate blessings to their families and others… baking is such a simple and functional skill!  i could learn and teach about it every day and never get bored.  it’s true.

other news: this month has been a mess of things going wrong, all delicately meshed with things hoped-for going right.

two weekends ago, the van broke down.  well, the radiator exploded.  with me driving and the kids in the back.  it was awesome.  i’ve never been in a car when it overheated before, much less when a part exploded to the point of striking fear in my little mom-heart. 

we were in southpark, too.  if you’re not from around here, imagine the richer ritzy part of town wherever you are, you know, the kind of place where people wear designer clothes, eat things that cost whole paychecks, drive high-end cars that never break down, and mechanics don’t exist because they have nothing to do.

yeah.  so i was in southpark and the van’s temp gauge shoots up to “H” all of a sudden and steam starts pouring forth from underneath the hood.  i literally prayed our way into a gas station (we were luckily sitting at a stoplight near one) and got the car into a parking space, put it in park, then the radiator literally went “boom” and a spray of extremely hot antifreeze and toxic steam (though i though it was smoke… like from a fire… worst nightmare EVER) came bursting out from under the hood.  i jumped out, ran inside the to get the station attendent in case i needed help yanking kids out of my burning vehicle, and he comes out the door and casually says “oh, it’s just steam.  your van’s overheating.  might want to open the doors so they don’t breathe that stuff, but y’all should be fine.  you’ll need to let it cool down all the way and you’re going to have to get it towed.  sorry…”

hey, at least none of my kids were going die tragically in a car fire.  happy news.

but i had only planned to be out with the kids for like an hour.  yeah, thanks, van, for picking the one single day i went out of the house without my “BIG” bag with all the diapers, wipes, food, and sippy cups…  i had nothing.  no food for them.  no sippies.  no dipes, no wipes.  i called my husband at work, who jumped on his bike and came to comfort nervous-wreck-me and check out the damage, then called my mom, who brought her handy and helpful husband out with her, all the way to charlotte from forty minutes north, to help us out.

eventually, as in FIVE HOURS LATER, the tow truck arrived and we got everything and everyone home safe.  it took three days to get the kids back to normal.  you wouldn’t think that kind of thing would affect tiny people so much… boy, does it.  anyhoo…

we spent the next week scrounging up fix-it money, searching for parts, and digging out repair manuals because a radiator fix at a shop can be up to or over $1000, averaging something like $700-800 for parts and labor combined, and God knows we’re too cheap for that…  with coupons and free shipping to store, we paid about $120 for everything needed to fix the radiator, plus got about $50 worth of free parts for other things on the van needing attention.  advance auto parts has awesome coupons online, guys.  yes.

my extra handy husband spent nearly all of this past sunday and a few hours monday morning completing the repair and ensuring the van was in decent running condition again and so ended the van saga of 2011.  i hope and pray to our merciful God that it is the only one we have.  yes.

in the midst of all that, last saturday i woke up and the house smelled musty, so, like a good American, i broke out the Febreeze and called it a day.  except i left it on the kitchen table instead of putting it away like i should have.  [insert ominous theme music here]  i was about to “go to school”, y’all… that was such a dumb move…

long story short as i can make it, my precious son discovered the Febreeze sometime that afternoon while i was in my room replying to an email.  i heard that tell-tale silence that all too often accompanies troublemaking and when i went to check it out, i saw the kitchen table had been completely sprayed down, soaking everything on it (including library books and some paperwork).  i also saw that half the bottle of Febreeze was gone, but it didn’t register at the time that all of that liquid could not possibly be on the table.

yeah.  mistake.

i went toward the fridge where i hang our kitchen towels so i could begin to mop up the mess, not even thinking to check the floor, which was apparently covered in slippery Febreeze, from one edge of the room to the other (not even kidding… he must have been a busy little dude).  so i slipped, like someone in a cartoon who steps on a banana peel, feet totally out from under me and no time to brace for impact…  landed on my left hip/butt cheek and remained there in the floor incapable of movement for at least ten solid minutes.

turns out, that fabulous pregnancy hormone elastin probably did me no good service in the event of my fall.  something between the parenthesis of my hips is very likely damaged, but i know if i go to the doctor they’ll just give me “donut” to sit on, charge me a ton, and tell me i just need time to heal and to come back in three weeks so they can charge me some more.  so, i am choosing to manage the pain.

i spent all the rest of that day just trying not to quit since i couldn’t really walk at all, much less deal well with tiny people, and i spent a ton of time just making sure the internal tiny person (the in-the-womb one) was still alive and kicking.  darin needed to stay at work and close the store, so other than my sweet mom who offered to come and help (which i declined because she’d already been down twice that week to watch kids and let me borrow her jeep so i could make appointments), i was kind of on my own.  i cried a lot, got stuck on the floor a few times trying to get up from diaper changes, and cussed enough to warrant a large time of repentance, as well as prayer that my dear son wouldn’t start repeating my bad language, but i made it.

since then, the pain has lessened each day to the point that i am now walking mostly okay, though it still hurts a ton (i just kind of grin and bear it…  apparently i am “beyond stubborn” when to comes to pain management…  i didn’t even take the post-surgical pain meds when i had my tooth implant or my eyeball/retina surgery, and what could be more deserving of meds than having a titanium rod jammed into your jawbone or metal instruments jabbed in your eye?).

in the midst of all of this, we’ve been in the process of trying to buy a house.  yeah.  as if that isn’t enough of a headache in and of itself…  at least house-buying is mostly a lot of busywork that can be done over the phone or the internets.  and it gave/gives me something to focus my energies on instead of thinking about how “miserable are my circumstances” or whatever .  things aren’t really that bad, they just cluster in the realm of not-so-good sometimes and it gets to be overwhelming.  we move on.

in other news, the kids are doing pretty great these days.  ransom is growing like a weed, has been sort of potty-training, and is ever-entertaining so long as he stays out of trouble.  and the miss A is also growing super-fast, got turned forward-facing in her car seat (yeah, yeah… new recommendations say to wait, but man was she stoked to be able to see out the windows.  i’ve never seen her smile so much in her entire life.  i consider that kind of worth it.), and is all over the house climbing up on things and walking with her walking toys.  still hasn’t walked solo, but she did stand for a few seconds today without any support.  she’s an interesting little girl.

alright, well, i’m off to put these young’uns to bed, finish baking a loaf of bread, and wait for my darin to get home, and tomorrow bright and early i get to walk through a few more houses on our list of prospects.  pretty stoked about us.  pray that we find the rght house for our needs, and that we find all the money needed to secure it without totally wiping out our savings.  i wouldn’t be into the whole mortgage thing, but our current rental is a daily headache and i’d rather at laest be paying monthly for housing that i can fix when things go wrong…  at least we have zero other debts.  yes.  bless God for that.

later taters.  thanks for dropping by.

oh, and i owe you pictures from the biltmore trip that darin and i took three weeks ago.  i haven’t uploaded them yet, so when i do, i will be sure to copy them here. : )  peace!